Currently Listening To: I’ve – AIR OST – “Giniro”
State of Being: Relaxed

Aside

My dream is for “Kou” and I to be as widely known and productive as the manga duo Tatsuya Hamazaki (writer of .Hack//Legend of Twilight) & Izumi Rei (artist of .Hack//Legend of Twilight). I do not know about “Kou“, but they are my role models of where I would like for us to wind up in the manga world. They also created .Hack// AI Buster, of which the girl in the bottom left hand of the cover now cutely graces the wallpaper of my new flip phone.

Arigatou gozaimashita, Rei-san.

I thought about whether if we could one day walk into our favorite hangout, Borders Books & Music, pick up our published manga, walk up to the counter, and say, “We are the writer and artist of this manga series and we are out of copies. Might we be able to take it for free?” We would lose profit, if they actually let us, but it would be the happiest day of our lives…
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I spent some time Saturday, while in my room “Kou“, punching out a little more material for Kokoro No Dansu (KND), as well as collaborating with him on how to present certain scenes in manga form for this project. I envisioned and began this with him about two years ago before I went off to college for the first time. All we have behind us are our individual knowledge of manga organization & presentation – we study that every time we pick up a manga to read – and our skills that we are putting together to make this project happen. We both have our weaknesses – I cannot write for extended periods of time and most times than not, need to force myself to begin, hoping that I find the momentum I need; he can draw a little every day, but he tends to double back on drawings or concern himself with issues that we don’t have to think about this early in the game, which holds him back from progressing. On top of that, we are both perfectionists in our gift and can become discouraged because of our weaknesses.

That was not the case that afternoon.

I was able to end – more or less – Chapter 4 and make a few notations of how to progress with Chapter 5. “Kou” finished drawing Chapter 1 (finally…), and is looking forward to what I have already written for later chapters. Having to keep him focused on where he is can be troublesome at times, but I know he can do it. There is a significant change in how he first drew my characters and how he draws them now. I also am looking deeper into each character and finding out secrets about them that further deepens their relationships with one another. He tells me that he is becoming more involved in who they are, just as I am. All of this pleases me. Our favorite character right now is probably Miyaki’s mother, a character that I introduced in Chapter 3, though had no idea prior to that that she would ever exist. She is a special woman, indeed, & he draws her just as I envisioned her.
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Yesterday, while “Kou” and I were in the food court of the mall, I was only a dripping faucet of creative juice to write for KND. Not to mention, I was falling asleep trying to think so much. So, while he was drawing child-like versions of my characters, I switched gears to another project I have mentioned in the past: Sakura: Forgotten Times. This project is completely different from KND and requires a certain melancholy attitude to write. I was not upset or apathetic at the moment, but I was physically fatigued, which apparently, was a decent substitute. I wrote about a page and a half of dialogue/”stage” action, & could have probably written more; I had gained momentum quite quickly. I was smiling as I wrote, which is ironic for the kind of dark premise that pervades this story. For the first time in a long time, I told “Kou“:

I am having alot of fun writing this! …I may even finish writing this before KND…

I could already acutely see this story becoming an anime novel or a Live-Action movie of some sort. It was very odd to see my writings in such light so early in its construction, but maybe that was why it was so enjoyable at that moment. Perhaps that is the light that I need to carry with me always; the light of belief in my gift, rather than the light that reveals everything that everyone else has done before me.
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I continue to pray that my gift of writing is one that will touch lives and evoke deep emotion in a wide variety of readers. Also, to have faith that it is possible; that my writing is what publishers are looking for; that nothing I write will ever be seen as a waste of talent; that I will not be a waste of talent. Even more, that I have the talent to become a writer.

…That every time I write, I will say, “Hontou ni tanoshikata…”

+ Alexiel +
Kana
// Reika //
~ Kairi ~