The curiosity of a classmate of mine in my Cross-Cultural Psychology class spurred my professor – the same one I demean at the end of my Time Paradox entry – on to sharing something I actually was intrigued by. He, also being fond of the term “isshokenmei”, handed out to the class a print-out of the term’s history. Who knew that a word could have such historical depth and value – more than I already gave it utmost credibility for, simply by its meaning. Aside from the fact that this coincides with the theme of my blog & my general lifestyle, it is quite fascinating information straight from my professor.

Isshoukenmei (一生懸命) = for dear life; working very hard with concentration of mind; wholeheartedly; a common Japanese expression

Originally, the expression was 一所懸命, the difference being the second character. The pronunciation of these two characters, 生(shou) and 所(sho) being sho with a long “o.” The original expression referred to an attitude or virtue of a samurai toward their lord in the feudal era, especially the Kamakura era (1192-1333). They showed their loyalty to their lord by joining their lord’s war as his subjects and fighting bravely for him. The last two characters of this expression, ken & mei, while in common usage mean “staking or risking one’s life,” really mean devoting one’s life to one’s lord. As a reward, their lord offers each samurai a piece of land (一所/issho) in accordance with their revealed loyalty in the war. Each samurai then words very hard to cultivate this piece of land. Over time, the feudal connotation of this expression was lost and it was changed to its current form isshoukenmei.

A Zen Buddhist priest, Sekkei Harada Roshi, said to me once in a conversation that the Zen meaning of isshoukenmei is “to keep or protect (= Jpn. 守る mamoru) the present moment.” The sense here is not engage isshoukenmei as a means to search for something outside oneself, but to manifest what one already is.

Though I’m not involved with Zen in any way, the meaning of the word as a whole does impress me in a way that aligns itself closely to my manner of thinking and living. For the most part, I have stopped seeking out more abilities and skills on the outside and have begun to cultivate those I already own within myself, as I have many to draw from already, no matter how weak or insignificant they may appear. My writing, for example, is what I have convinced myself that I have potential in, and shall devote my life to making something come of it. Discovering that there are famous authors who have not received formal approval before composing their first novel – and, of all things, received praise for it – encourages me to never sell myself short. To bring out the best in who I have become is of great importance to me. To somehow interconnect my abilities and interests to produce such a venerable force, for my own sake, is the origin where my goals seemingly converge.

Though I am far from perfect, there is a burning within me to leave my mark on the world, if not just a small part of it; to touch the lives of whomever will lend an ear to my words, as unimpressive or uneducated as they may be presented as. All I can do is “protect each moment” I live – to value myself above what anyone else may perceive me as, for their insight into who I am is, more than likely, inherently flawed or skewed. Through whatever outlet I am blessed to blossom in, I have hope that I will flourish as the individual that I am. Not for fame, or fortune are my motives driven, but to offer the possibility of someone catching a glimpse of me, for a glimpse is all one shall receive to those who are unable to gather the pieces that make up my representation of isshokenmei.

I am not so dull-minded or diluted with such vibrant hopes that I do not recognize my own self-made perils and weaknesses. I will, without a doubt, be repeatedly impaled upon my own sword that I wield, only to rise up with an unbridled resilence that rivals the former. Or so, that is my intention. Nonetheless, that is why I take such pleasure in creating life. That is why I have armed myself with multiple skills – those of both the physical and dexterous – and seek out those who are of the same calibur or beyond. Every moment is a vicious battle of desire that I can either overcome, or succumb under. That is why I will surely “run the race” and “press towards the mark set before me,” wherever it takes me. Anything less would be denying my own passionate existence – and that spirit of my “dark ages” has long since been slain. I have no intention of reincarnating such a vile, all-consuming being within my soul.