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After reading an introduction to a book called “Rise of the Image” for my Interactive Storytelling class, I began to think of my relationship with my words and with the manga I own. I am compelled to revisit my reasons for desiring to focus more on the manga industry – though my research has become more of a steady progression in light of my own manga-crafting endeavor – rather than on the anime industry like I did in the past. What was the allure that manga had over anime to tilt the scales to simply being an observer, and sometimes a reviewer, of anime instead of an active participant in the ebb and flow. Two particular reasons spring to mind.
My intial exposure to anime was through television. Namely, the initial greatness that Cartoon Network had experimented with known as Toonami. However, I did not know that what I had become fascinated by was under the category “anime” until I met a pivotal individual who single-handedly exposed me to another world of gaming (e.g. the PSOne and Dance Dance Revolution), subtitled anime, and reading off-line English scripts for imported manga. Not only that, but he was my gateway to my first anime convention experience, Shoujo-con. Eventually, I took hold of my own taste and identification with the vastness of the anime circle and developed my own opinions towards many other titles – titles that I had lost most of my desire to view on public television. I had become a “purist,” and was darn well proud of it. Unbenounced to my own conscious, cultivating affinity with unlicensed anime, I also was consciously becoming disgusted with the “people inside the black box” and unconsciously drifting from video games. Essentially, the more I delved into anime and the production companies involved, the less primetime television appealed to me.
And then, somewhere in the midst of swimming in the tides of bishoujo girls, who came alive to me through vivid shades and attire the more I connected with them and their underlying character, I realized that as an aspiring writer, anime is hardly the area I should be focusing on. Perhaps it was because of an article I happened to read one day, but that something made sense. I decided to drive my efforts towards the world of manga, and simply sit back as a spectator of the anime being produced from the manga that gave it life. Without manga, there would be less inspired anime being churned out every season. Without a manga series being at least a minor success on the hundreds of shelves that are already overflowing with everything from the budding, obscure manga-ka to those who can produce a volume whenever they please, knowing that readers are going to eat it up, then an anime won’t even be a consideration. That was a serious wake-up call for me, which led me to become a consumer of various manga that serve as inspiration, awareness, and happiness to me. I also quit maundering about, having done so for nearly four years – second-guessing my ability in the craft of writing – and have recently begun plowing forward with my partner to continue creating what we hope to be a pivotal title in the Original English Language manga industry.
To me, anime is a beautiful form of expression and storytelling that transcends what American cartoons have produced in the past. (I can only compare anime to my past, as I do not know what is propagated these days through the less-than-innocent minds of the next generation that I fear greatly.) However, the two reasons for my shift in driving motives seem to boil down to two facts about myself:
- I wanted to read books, while still educating myself on various storytelling techniques at once. Manga was the perfect venue that I had, in my infancy and ignorance, disregarded for a good three or so years.
- I had become so enraptured with anime because I longed to produce a work worthy of being expressed through the venue I adored. Succeeding in my storytelling abilities through manga first would be the sensible route to pursue and study.
I am scared to lose the opportunity to reach out to those who may have become so ensconced in the world of “motion pictures” like I was. On the other hand, I am even more concerned that my words may not hold any power. I quit writing for the sake of dazzling people with “flowery nuances” and appealing to one’s inherent capacity to feel sympathetic [to me] long ago. Upon being unable to find scraps of paper that I had scribbled my dribble that I used to call poetry for the sake of holding on to those nuances and stitches in time, I discovered my own sense of worth and power in my words. Before that, words that held no purpose were the words I used solely because I could. Others – the experienced literary professors and the unexperienced who never dream of writing a book – have cheered me on as well. At this crossroad of this technological age of interactivity, I do want my words to be injected into various venues and forms, but what I do not wish for is for the power of my words to be disregarded in favor of the “moving pictures” that they were meant to thrive hand-in-hand with. If a person found more pleasure in stunning visuals than in the story that my characters have specifically found a home in, then I would have certainly failed in my over-arching “labor of love.”
I truly hope that words – not just mine, but all who seek to write words that hold the essential lifeblood to what makes interactivity so alluring in the first place – will speak just as vehemently and vibrant as pictures and video have become. If not that, then at least come to a place where it is no longer about actions speaking louder than words, but rather a pleasant conflation, like a choreographed ballet, would give rise to an agreeable oneness of purpose.
Currently Listening To: NUMBER201 – Fate/another-score: super remix tracks – “Tsubame-Gaeshi”
Ever since I returned home from Japan (I say “Japan” now since I lived in both Osaka & Tokyo, and visited Kyoto), a few people who have spoken to me on an extensive basis have told me something that I expected, but yet could not perceive in myself. “You have changed…” they say, and then will usually share what that they see has changed in me, as most individuals have an innate need to be on the defensive so as not to be labeled as unlearned. Things people have said have been:
- …You seem more mature from when we last talked.
- …You are more outgoing/laid-back now.
- …You smile/laugh more than before.
- …You’ve become more feminine.
- …You were more distant than before, but not now.
Of these things, the last one is the only one that I have been able to observe in myself. This makes sense, seeing as how people make a conscious choice to be more distant from a certain individual. What boggles my mind is how I rarely do not make a choice to be closer with someone. That is just something that happens beyond my will. If I do not want to go along with that will, then I will usually make the choice to be distant for whatever reason.
I have returned to many people at my college campus that I looked forward to seeing again. At the same time, I have returned to people that I was not exactly close with, but was on some sort of acquaintance level that I could place a name to a face and at least say hello. And then, there are those acquaintances that either surprise me by remembering my name, or not remembering. What some people don’t seem to comprehend is that I have changed in ways that I will probably never be able to express in words – there are no words, only actions. My return to America seems to have caused me to be even more awkward and reserved than I was before I left…
…but I’m still me. I am a better and stronger person than before I left. This is not just in my faith, but also in how and why I live my life the way I do. So, I’ll continue to be me, even if no one can understand why I do things the way I do. After a week’s time, this campus is no longer strange to me, but I am beginning to think that I have become estranged to many people on this campus…and perhaps back at home as well.
…Only someone like me who is as eccentric, introspective, and acutely aware of the world around me could say:
“I was disappointed to have to leave Japan;
I wish I never left to Japan.
I was happy to return to America;
I wish I never returned to America.”
ごめんなさい。 私には遊びたくないんだ。。。
Currently Listening To: Darlene Zschech – “Emmanuel”
Looking Towards Blossoming Dreams #3
I had claimed a seat within the empty campus lounge in the furthest corner away from the rest of the communal gathering area, as I always have done for the past two years. With my back turned away from all entrances, I had single-handedly propagated a distinct aura that spread at least a diameter of ten feet. I had concocted this ingenious plan upon my acceptance into this school: Shinsei Kandou Ryuugakuen. Today was no different, except for the one minuscule detail that I couldn’t unroot from my psyche:
I wanted to be embraced by the sun.
“Stupid clouds…” I began mumbling to myself. “Why did you have to interfere today? The sun will definitely win…tomorrow!”
My thoughts had wandered further away than usual. And that was just as well too, for I was able to feign not hearing the cheeky greeting of a certain individual who was somehow impervious to my aura. Apparently, failure was never meant to be an option from the day we first happened to meet.
“Sempai! Ohayoo gozaimasu!”
I had no reason to turn my head towards that unnaturally perky voice, specially strung to emit an alto tonality that could not be any more unsuited for such a summons. Somehow though, I preferred to simply humor this kindhearted person who would never do anything to undermind me. Not that I exerted any particular power over her, but rather she, herself, seemed to had made up her mind to follow me to the ends of the earth. With a voice like that, I sometimes wondered if maybe she was from the ends of the earth. That would make her futile attempt at sounding cute easier to excuse.
“Ah…o-ohayoo…anou…”
Her devotion and interest in my goings-on around Shinsei Kandou campus made no sense to one as overt and stoic as I. For the last two years, and nearly every day of both semesters, she had come to me in the morning like this, calling me “sempai.” Not once did I inquire of her family name, nor did she offer to share hers. I had no reason to divulge my identification to her either. We were basking in the bliss of ignorance together. And by together, I mean I am one side of the bridge and she is on the other; we just happened to see one another from a distance, and she, with no other method of showing general politeness, has resolved to call out to me with a default.
“Shall I carry your bag to class?”
“Huh? Why?”
I furrowed my brow, with only the corner of my left eye being enough for me to acknowledge her.
“I can carry my own bag. Besides, that would only make you late for your class.”
Clasping her hands together, I could see her smiling at me. She appeared pleased with herself, as if she had posed the question, and had received the exact reply she had expected.
“Just as I expected of you, sempai!
“Just as you expected, indeed…” I muttered, rolling my eyes and turning my neck just enough to look out towards the window.
Suddenly, I felt the stagnant air on my opposite side change only for a moment outside of my peripheral vision. Only I am supposed to do that I thought. The pressure of curiosity was too prominent. I gave in, turned my head back around, and saw that the deep-voiced female was now holding my handbag, showing off her nicely proportioned, and shockingly pretty teeth. I felt my gaze narrowing.
“Just what do you think you are doing?”
After hearing my words echo through my ears, I was sure that I didn’t sound all that threatening. Then again, this average-looking, stocky female, slightly filled out around where my gentle curves were, was hardly worth any amount of rage I could muster.
“I’m carrying your bag for you,” she replied, unfazed.
I decided to take on a firmer tone of voice.
“I really do not want you to. Please give it back this instant.”
Still grinning at me, she replied again in a manner that she had never revealed to me before. All cuteness and candid consideration had disappeared from her disposition. The air that became her, emanating from her frame, could be described in one word:
Yakuza. The pride and shame of the Kansai dialect.
“I’m gonna carry yer bag, sempai…We have th’ same class, ya know?”
Am I supposed to be scared? I thought, as I clamped my hands over my mouth, nearly holding my breath in order to stifle my laughter. I truly did want my handbag back, but not so much that I would draw a hundred eyes on me, Japanese and foreign, because I could not control myself. Besides, she had just shown me an interesting thing that was worth it.
There now was no doubt in my mind that she was forcing her voice to sound cute. Her real voice was, in fact, Yakuza-like! Gripping the strap of my bag in one hand, she only stared down at me while I sat hunched over in my seat, my face in my lap, muffling my heaved squeaks of laughter.
Whoever says photoshopping isn’t therapeutic apparently hasn’t tried it for themselves. Just thankful I have this to fall back on when writing isn’t gripping my creative desires…
- CG Design: View
- Design Name: CC Corp Department Emblems
- Usage: For CyberConnect Corp.’s various staff members to distinguish their respective roles within the company
- Approx. Perfectionist Timespan: 2.5 hours
- Software: Photoshop 7.0
- Hardware: Kana-Chan laptop
- Description: These designs are purely original and made from scratch using the same octagon design I used in my Blackrose: Digital Rose avatar. I am aware that there is some misalignment with the shapes fitting together, but the general idea of a .hack-ish, techy feel is still well conveyed in my personal opinion. I also wasn’t planning on grouping them together like this until after the fact. Deciding on how to shape the “C” was the hardest part of this design, but even those were made from scratch (i.e. not a font style). My ideas flowed from there. I am happy with this design and even happier that I got a O_O reaction from my company president.
The colors represent the following departments:
- Data Administration: Blue
- Graphic Administration: Violet
- Corporate Administration: Cobalt
- Field Administration: Orange
- System Administration: Crimson
- Creative Epiphany: Some really neat things happen when playing with layer masking and pillow emboss…
- Foolhearty Sacrifices: None
Currently Listening To: Ellegarden – “Lonesome”
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