Reflections of an ‘06 Kansai Gaidai Student

A year has passed since I had arrived at Kansai Gaidai University and studied my brains out so that I would come back a little bit smarter than I was when I left. Not only did I come back a little bit smarter, I came back a little stronger, wiser, self-aware, and happier. I also returned with the weight of the memories I had gathered and the friendships/acquaintances I had fallen into, knowing darn well that I suck at keeping in touch with people who I probably will not see again within the next few months. A year later, I am relying on an underclassman to pass on messages for me to people I knew he would meet. Save a friend’s Australian girlfriend that we both had met together at the same time and a shout-out to my closest American friend that I made there, I haven’t contacted anyone else.

I was better off being forgotten anyway. Makes things easier on me. Thing is, I haven’t forgotten any of them. Not one.

I don’t believe I told anyone this, but I was massively disillusioned upon returning to America. I hated being here, with my friends and my lover being the main reasons why I could bear it. I didn’t want to be forced to speak English because America doesn’t believe in requiring their “free” society to be bilingual. I knew I would have no one to practice Japanese with and that every aspect necessary to master a language would gradually dull to where it is now — just barely hanging on to the belief that I really CAN speak the language. I was different…but living out my final semester on campus brought me back to where I was before I had left. My final semester was filled with many joys, frustrations, and fears. I left behind wonderful people, and had ultimately made decisions to abandon much of my past.

My lover, Chelsey, of whom I had been forcefully separated from for already a year and a half, contacted me around middle November just before I was to head off to the campus for class. I did not expect to hear from her until May. Though we still had to communicate through non-real-time means for a while still, everything changed for me, yet again, that morning. I would not have it any other way. Time still remains our nemesis to this day. Eight years is a long time for lovers to wait…and still more coming? Yes…It hurts. Her and I will come out of this hardened fighters for love and commitment, and our children will see this clear as day.

I miss melon bread. I miss the convenience stores. I miss real ramen. I miss having seaweed or an egg with all my food. I miss being underestimated as a gaijin. I miss the language. I miss the challenge of survival. I miss having an excuse to use chopsticks every day. To have adapted so well, only to not have a clue when I might be returning, is not a pleasant feeling. It was only four months.

I say “tadaima”. You say “what did you just call me?”

Here I am. Doing all that I can. Maybe someone will understand. And that one will hold my hand.

Humor me. Back to work.

Currently Listening To: +44 – When Your Heart Stops Beating – “No It Isn’t“

Various blog updates and new feature articles

IsShouKenMei Blog Updates

As intended, the changes that I had planned have, for the most part, been executed. More specifically:

• All of my “otakudom-related” links can now be found at my other blog, Atama Ga Warui. I have noticed a reduction in anime-related traffic here, which is what I wanted…unless I am redirecting them to my other blog.
• My massive list of Rundown categories have now been condensed into a dropdown. Not like they get many clicks anyway.
• I got around to getting myself a Flickr account, since that is the only option WordPress offers. People can now view and browse all of my EtherFuture illustrations through that sidebar widget or go to my Flickr page.
• I will probably be updating my “About storymode” page in the near future. It’s a bit outdated after a year’s time.
• A week has passed since I opened Atama Ga Warui. So far, I have been pleased with the results and response.

New Featured Articles

• Last week, I published a controversial article for my job’s company blog called Debate: What’s In A Logo? highlighting a discussion between myself and my boss about what makes a logo prolific and powerful in the end. Needless to say, my boss has more knowledge about this than I.
• This past Sunday, my article called In-Depth Postulation of Esoteric Logic in Lucky Star Eps. 1+22, As Applied to Konata Izumi was published at Anime-Source.com, allowing me to meet my quota of one written piece a month as a Staff Writer. I have been a staff writer there since October 2005.
• One of the first entries at Atama Ga Warui was a response to another anime blogger’s take on gender in anime. For anyone curious in my personal account, my article, Gender Swap! My First Anime Experience, might interest you.

Recent Illustrations

Created: Saturday – 2007/9/16

Created: Monday – 2007/9/10

Any commentary is appreciated and will be replied to.

Currently Listening To: Underground Mixxes – Street Fighter Alpha 2 – Sakura’s Stage

EtherFuture Designs: beautiful // minds

• CG Design: here
• Design Name: Atama Ga Warui: beautiful // minds
• Usage: Banner for my new Japanese visual culture blog, Atama Ga Warui
• Approx. Perfectionist Timespan: 4 hrs. (I’m becoming faster..)
• Software: Photoshop 7.0
• Hardware: KanaChan laptop
• Description: Similar to the design I produced for Chessi, this illustration follows a likened feel that is soft and high in pleasurable aesthetics. Following my usual procedures when starting a new illustration, I was surprised to find that with only a small portion of concrete inspiration — the use of a girl wearing glasses — I was able to establish yet another contradiction to the name of my new blog. All the elements I used seemed to flow together. From the sakura trees to the Jupiter-like backdrop, the otherworldly sense of beauty that blended with my choice of colors arrived almost naturally.

  Most of my time spent was touching up Rin so that there were no see-through blemishes. There were no underlying motives behind my choice of this image of Tohsaka Rin other than the fact that I like her character and that she doesn’t actually wear glasses. I will admit that I find glasses very moé, and even moreso moé when it is someone who doesn’t normally wear them. Knowing that about her made her all the more an attractive and unique choice to use for the sake of the stereotype of feigning intelligence that comes when someone dons glasses. Perfect for a blog that does not boast high mental aptitude.

  Approached from this angle, I ultimately aimed to convey the outward beauty of an individual using Rin as the motif, as well as the inward beauty and unpredictability of an individual’s mind through the atmosphere in which Rin is ensconced within. Even though someone may appear beautiful on the outside, you never want to ignore what imaginative thoughts and dreams they may be brewing within their minds.

• Creative Epiphany: Using a common font type as a compliment to a fancy font type adds all the more power to an illustration when executed with a designer’s intent.
• Foolhearty Sacrifices: None
• Next EF design: DONE

Thanks to Kou for sharing his opinion on my choice of aesthetics.

Currently Listening To: I’VE – Emu Original Sound Tracks Vol.1 – “Jikan -Eternal-”

Atama Ga Warui: New Blog OPEN!

The blog geared to Japanese visual culture (otaku-focused) that I have been prepping for the past week is now open for business. Go ahead and pop your head inside; there is already a bit of content there to get things started. As I mentioned before, this is a collaborative endeavor — an endeavor involving myself and Kiba. I think it will be good for both of us to be able to go nuts about the topics we discuss over MSN, while, between the two of us, feeling less burdened to produce worthwhile content.

My hope is that whatever is meant to become of this will be of the positive flavor. I should now be able to turn my attention back to blogging properly here, as well as producing something for Anime-Source.com this month. We will see what happens…