I have no idea how many people legitimately read this blog, but I have to assume that the average reader is coming here because of two topics: Sims 2: Twilight or my Kansai Gaidiary. However, only the Kansai Gaidiary readers actually feel compelled to reply. I have a theory about that, but I’ll keep that to myself. With my most popular Kansai Gaidiary entry being Reflections of an ‘06 Kansai Gaidai Student, the irony of that leaves me wondering if I really “struck a chord” among a few Westerns for my honest reflection of a time that seems so vivid, and yet so distant. My latest commentator said this:
In case you didn’t know by now, your Gaidaiary is a main source, for many prospective students, of confidence and the last push to move along this path.
I truly do find that hard to believe, though ten prospective students, including the one above who spoke so well of my diary, have commented on that one entry since September ‘07 when I originally wrote it. All I wanted to do was record my thoughts and feelings as they began to wane with time. And yet, there are still memories lying deep within me that can only be awakened with things like the taste of a certain food or drink. My time in Osaka was truly amazing, but back then, “isshoukenmei” was not something that had become fully real to me.
Now, a year and a half after the fact, I have grown wiser, stronger, and more mindful of the worth that people can have in a social and business sense. I wish I had this when I was in Hirakata so I wouldn’t have to regret my lackadaisical approach towards the friends I made, Japanese and Western, for any length of time. Somehow, I must make up for it…I want to go back. The feeling to return there never goes away.
Two weeks ago, a Japanese friend I had made invited me to be his friend on MySpace. I have yet to make one and I know why.
Today, my most precious friend for the shortest period, Kazuna, said that “it would be so cool if I could be in Osaka for sakura season.” …I am strongly considering that prospect.
For someone as overambitious and independent like myself, all I can do is make the next move and believe that something is going to occur in my favor. That’s all I’ve been doing for over a year now, causing “isshoukenmei” to truly become a way of life rather than just a word I use to represent this blog. My faith is constantly in question, but every move I make is as calm and collected as possible. Though sometimes, I really do get tired of trying to be enough.
As humbling as it would be to know that I have truly encouraged or inspired someone through this blog’s existence, the chances of me finding that out as I am now are slim. I suppose I should just keep moving forward as I have been.
“‘If the king does not take the lead, then the others will not follow’” – Lelouch Lamperouge
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2009-03-1 at 22:58:51
Kayuri
“I have no idea how many people legitimately read this blog.”
I, Kayuri, have most certainly legitimately read this blog. :D
What that person commented on doesn’t actually seem that doubtful to me… Everyone nowadays look to internet to for help and that encouraging push (look at all the online suicides…). Mmm… your accounts of your time there have this “realistic” feel that has feeling and personal input, rather than statistics or facts that would just be like “Dummies’ Guide to Staying in Japan.”
I remember reading that entry a long time ago… D: I remember thinking like… “How old is this guy…?” XD I think that’s the “magical” aspect of your blog – your personal ambitions are on the internet for EVERYONE to see and *admire.* You shouldn’t be so humble; people are recognizing you, and you should be damn proud! XD
:O You SHOULD go for a Sakura viewing session and get bathed in the petals… it’s super fun! Unfortunately, I don’t think I can go this year… But maybe if I’m lucky, next year during the Funabashi exchange program, I go out for a day and see them if I can still catch them in late May…
I don’t see anything wrong with how you’ve been… Isshoukenmei is an awesome motto, in my opinion. Everyone gets tired living everyday life as it is… you shouldn’t let that get you down. I’ll support you like, “Massugu GO!” Then everyone else at my school is like, “Fight-O!” And the whole city is like “WTF?!” :D Then we can take over the world. XD
2009-03-2 at 23:59:42
Alex Ninamori
You really need to know this, my darling sidekick. I very much appreciate you for reading my blog and for writing such honest comments. I don’t like hunting down people to show off anything I’ve done, and I haven’t ever had to do that with you. I am truly grateful.
I cannot become prideful in anything that I do because I am constantly suppressing my competitive nature. So, my nature has become that of a humble, “very Japanese” person because I am acutely aware that there is someone out there who does way more than what I could ever hope to accomplish. I don’t think I being “recognized” though. If I were, then those looking at me would want to know me. Very few get that far, which is why I have always had few friends.
I do agree with you on how my ambitions are here on full display and that I should be proud of that, however. I also can’t help but be thankful that this so-called “magical” and “realistic” tinge that my writing conveys has reached you. That might be because I do view my life as an unfolding story that very few care to read. That is why almost everything I write has a storytelling feel to it. I do want to, one day, be the triumphant protagonist of it.
As for going to Osaka, the catch is: I don’t have that kind of money and I have no clue when I will. To hop on a plane and visit “home” is like throwing more debt on top of my college debt. I would really have to snap to actually go through with it. I’m glad you have that potential opportunity though…
Kayuri-chan, you make me smile. A lot. You had better “FIGHT-O” and keep that “Massugu GO” attitude for yourself. Your encouragement means a lot, but you and I both know that we have to be strong. If we took over the world though, you would be an adorable force to be reckoned with.
Hm…”Kawaii Ryoku”…that could be a new idea…XD
2009-03-3 at 01:37:18
Toby
Just dropping by.Btw, you website have great content!
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2009-05-2 at 19:45:39
teishou
I enjoyed reading all of your blog…it causes me to realize that I’ll be facing a lot of crap when I go there…
Thanks to your blog, I think I can manage a bit. I’m not as emotional as you seem to be (not even close!), but it’s nice to see just how much Japan moved you.
Thank you very much.
2009-05-2 at 21:09:37
Alex Ninamori
You’re very welcome. =]
I’m very thankful that my blog posts have set your mind at ease and were enjoyable for you. I really did love every moment there, and I don’t go a week without remembering something about it. I sincerely hope that your experience there is just as life-changing as mine was.
2009-10-28 at 00:40:07
enyardica
As I had commented in previous entries I have read in the past couple years, your blog has inspired my future in many ways. Instead of a semester at Kansai Gaidai during this school year, I will, however, spend an entire school year abroad next year. My first tattoo upon graduating high school two school years ago was, easily, Isshoukenmei. I still continue to read your blog, as no other blog has been able to successfully capture my enthusiasm as this one has.
Thank you.
-Chris
2009-10-31 at 14:04:55
Alex Ninamori
I apologize for taking so long to reply to your comment, but it makes me smile even now. You continue to go further in your aims to explore and be all that you believe you should be as an individual. I’m happy that this simple blog has been able to play a small part in the grand scheme of your abroad ambition to Kansai Gaidai. I truly hope the best for your experience when it finally arrives and wish I could have had a year myself as you will.
Thank you for your visible support. It means a lot.